


Limerence

by retoxification



Series: Pretty Vulgar [4]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: A little sappy, Aftermath of Violence, Billy has a moment of vulnerability, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 20:36:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17567543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retoxification/pseuds/retoxification
Summary: Steve knows he’s being Category One crazy, but it’s safe because it’s just in his head, and well…he’s been through some shit so he’s not going to think too hard about it.He’s just so love sick over the guy, it's gonna ruin him.





	Limerence

The humid air of the morning is not doing Steve’s hair many favours. He’s still inside his car but he can _feel_ his hair frizzing a little, getting a little more fluffy than he wants, curling where it shouldn’t.

But it’s _fine_ , he knows he still looks good and nobody is really going to be paying that much attention to him. 

Plus, he’s really hoping to see Billy before school starts, and that’s always enough to make him feel better. 

For the last couple of weeks things have been good.

Good, as in like,

They have been spending a lot of time together, they have a _routine_. Like, routines are things couples have or so Steve likes to think, likes to pretend.

 _Likes to fool himself into thinking that him and Hargrove have some sweet domestic thing going on. That this is true love, they’re going to be together forever, ‘til death dare do ‘em part…_ Whatever.

Steve doesn’t even know if they’re exclusive, or if they’re even dating, or if Billy’s just using him to get off. Everything that happens between them is so unspoken, but Steve’s not going to ask and risk disturbing the balance they have. He’ll live with what he gets.

Steve knows he’s being Category One crazy, but it’s safe because it’s just in his head, and well…he’s been through some shit so he’s not going to think too hard about it. 

He’s just so love sick over the guy, it’s gonna ruin him. Can’t even bring himself to get seriously annoyed when Hargrove teases him incessantly. He’s just happy to have his attention. 

and like, it’s not that Hargrove’s being a serious dick or anything, it’s more like pulling pig tails. It’s like being told, _‘look at me! Look at me! Look at me!’_ and Steve _is_ looking. The problem is, he can’t seem to stop.

So…yeah.

It’s good.

It’s _great_

Or,

It was, right up until he hasn’t heard from Billy in the last four days. The last time he saw Billy was Sunday night after he left Steve’s house. Now it’s Friday and he’s holding his breath hoping he’s going to see him today. 

He’d been deliberating on whether or not to call the Hargrove house, to at least _talk_ to him.

He thought about it every night, hovering over the phone. Arguing with himself on whether or not he should call.

and it’s stupid. It really is.

Billy calls him all the time. Like, without hesitation. He’ll call Steve to bitch about a game he’s just watched. 

or like,

he’ll call just to make plans, or continue a conversation they were having earlier that day, or to tell Steve there’s a movie playing on the TV that he _has to_ watch. 

Billy _always_ calls Steve, but Steve’s never called him. It feels weird like, even though he _knows_ he’s being irrational, he doesn’t want Hargrove to really know how deep he is in this. Not until he knows the real extent of Billy's feelings for him. 

Once bitten, twice shy and all of that.

So yeah, every night he thinks about it and ends up ditching the idea.

He wants to talk to him, to hear his voice, but he’s not. He feels like he did something wrong but he’s not sure what. Billy’s probably just sick and Steve’s being a fucking lunatic, turning this whole nothing into something. 

So now, Steve’s in his car, watching while everyone pulls into the parking lot.

He feels his heart do a stupid little flip when he sees the blue Camaro pull in. _Finally_. 

He’s feels relief at first, and then confusion. A frown pulls at his mouth as he watches Hargrove park _not_ next to him. 

In fact, Billy parks pretty far away. Which is a little weird and kinda concerning, enough so that Steve is about to make his way over and ask him _‘what the fuck is up?’_

Except…he doesn’t really get a chance to.

Right when he’s moving to get out of his car, Hargrove steps out of his and Steve immediately knows why Billy didn’t park next to him.

Between the black eye and the heavy bruising on his jaw, yeah Steve knows exactly why Hargrove doesn’t wanna get near him. 

He _knows_ Steve will hound him for answers.

So yeah, while Steve notices how fucked up Billy looks, so does everyone else in the parking lot.

He knows Billy notices all the stares and whispers, but he sure acts like he doesn’t. Not with the way he holds himself, like he doesn’t give a shit about what’s going on around him. 

Steve is fucking _dying_ to chase after him but he _knows_ he’s going to get shut down. Which is super fucking annoying because all he’s been thinking about for the last fucking week is talking to Hargrove, and now he _can’t_.

and, for the record, Billy’s hair looks perfect.

\-----

By lunch, Steve has heard about seven different reasons as to why Hargrove is all fucked up. 

Top theories so far: He fell down the stairs, got into a fight, a car accident (his fault, of course), he fucked someone’s mom and dad came home a little too early.

Steve _seriously_ doubts the last one, but the others are a little too plausible.

The problem with these accusations is that they all come from the same source- Billy.

Apparently, every time someone asks him what happened, he comes up with a new story.

Which would be funny, because really, what’s a better way of saying _‘fuck you, mind your business’_ than lying though your teeth while looking a person in the eye? But Steve wants to know the truth, so yeah, he’s not really laughing. 

He’s annoyed that Billy’s been ghosting him all day. Like, what the _fuck_ did Steve even _do_?

He spends his lunch sitting in his car, smoking while listening to the radio.

He’s bopping along when he hears a rapping against the passenger side window.

Looking over his heart leaps when he sees the oh so familiar denim jacket. Leaning over he unlocks the door to let Billy in, uses all his self-restraint to not immediately ask him what happened.

Instead,

“Wanna make out?"

Billy's face twitches, like he's trying not to laugh. "Why the hell else would I be in here?"

Steve pretends to be offended, manages to keep up the front for a few seconds while Billy laughs.

It sucks because he really wants to kiss him, but it's broad daylight and they're at school. So he just lets himself look over Billy, and enjoys the fact he's still got Billy's attention.

He's so focused on Billy's face, that _jawline_ , that he startles a bit when he feels a warm hand slip into his. Almost misses the whispered, "missed you," when he looks down at their entwined fingers.

\-----

He's doesn't think he's ever been so relieved to see the end of a school day. He's finally able to escape and get Billy over to his house.

and yeah, he misses the guy in more ways than one, but just having him around is nice no matter what. 

Which is…strange for him to admit. 

Despite his obvious and complete infatuation, he’s always a little shocked when him and Billy have a good time together and their pants stay on the _whole damn time_.

So yeah, he’s prepared to accept that today, and if he’s being real, the next few weeks will be like that. 

because, in addition to the bruising, Billy has fucking _staples_ in his arm. He won’t tell Steve what happened, but whatever it was, it required more than stitches to, literally, pull him back together. 

So, yeah, because love is patient, or whatever the fucking saying is, Steve’s willing to wait.

Except apparently not.

Since they spend a total of one hour doing homework before Billy finds his way into Steve’s lap, injured arm safely out of the way, and his other hand tangled in Steve’s hair, angling his head so Billy can kiss him the way he wants. 

Steve’s trying to be so gentle, he really is. Billy isn’t made of glass but he looks like he’s in a lot of pain, what with his arm and the bruising on his face, but by the way he’s restless and slightly aggressive, Steve can’t tell. 

He tries to slow it down, tries to not get too lost in it and accidentally hurt him. But it’s so difficult, especially when Billy is acting like this. 

While it’s always hot and heady, sometimes it playful and sweet and other times it feels like his blood is burning through his veins and his hearts going to catch on fire.

Now, though, it feels desperate. The way Billy has himself tucked in so close, kissing likes he’s trying to leave a brand, the way his breath hitches and he pauses a few times like he’s trying to savour it, but he can’t help himself before he’s back to kissing Steve all hot and deep and frantic like this will be the last time. 

Steve’s never been caught in a tide before, but he can imagine this is what if feels like. Unable to do anything except wait to see where it carries you. And he’s okay with it, happy to be swept up in it, because it feels right, feels like _home_.

He has a hand cradling Billy’s hip, soft pressure keeping him still, and the other cradling the unbruised side of his face, brushing his thumb lightly against his cheek. He’s not really aware of it until he feels Billy leaning into his touch, feels him pull away from the kiss. 

They’re still so close that every time they inhale, their mouths touch. The intimacy he feels with Billy startles him sometimes, he’s a teenage boy and he knows how the scripts written for him. How people really see him, how they really see Billy.

He always thought these feelings he has for him would be violent and tumultuous, that any relationship they have, no matter the label, would be rocky and unsure, driven by hormones and the frantic need to get off as often as possible. 

and yet, he finds himself like this, feeling so close and safe with someone he never though he would. He hopes, prays, wishes –whatever—that Billy feels this way too. That he feels safe with Steve. 

While he’s caught up in his head, wondering what brought this on, it takes him a bit to notice the change in Billy’s breathing.

Really, it takes a few tears hitting his cheek for him to catch on. 

Pulling back as much as he can, he tries to look Billy in the eye,

“Hey, what’s wro-”

Billy shakes his head cutting him off, his eyes a squeezed tight and Steve can feel how tense he’s gotten, like he’s getting ready to bolt. 

Steve’s not that oblivious, he knows this has to do with whatever hurt him. Billy insists it was an accident, but Steve doesn’t believe it. The tightness in his gut tells him something much worse happened. 

He really doesn’t want Billy to bolt though, which he’s prone to do, so he stays quiet. Just pulls him even closer and doesn’t say anything about the tears he feels soaking into his shirt, nor the way Billy trembles slightly. 

After a while he manages to get Billy to calm down and they just sit there, quiet until Billy grumbles at him,

“Harrington, I’m hungry.” 

It’s said so petulantly, so distinctly Billy, Steve can’t help but laugh softly, startled. “Oh really, and what do you want from me?” 

Billy pulls his face away from Steve’s shoulder, and gives him a fucking _look_. “What do you _think_ I want from you?” and it’s so like him. It’s so demanding and normal and if Steve didn’t witness it, he wouldn’t believe that Billy just spent the last twenty minutes crying on him.

He fakes a thoughtful expression, “I think a salad would be good, you know, like vitamins and shit?” 

“Listen, I don’t even _know_ what the point of you being my boyfriend is if you’re not going to buy me pizza." 

Steve’s heart does something fucking weird at that, _Boyfriend_.

His grin is so wide, it’s an effort to tamp it down. He affects the _most_ put upon sigh that he can, “If pizza is the cost of your love, I guess I can manage it.” 

That finally causes Billy to crack a grin, “idiot.” 

\-----

Long after the pizza has been eaten and homework has been finished, Steve finds himself in bed with Billy curled up next to him. 

Billy’s never stayed the night before, so Steve’s a little excited, a little nervous. 

He looks over at him, taking in his relaxed features. He looks truly calm for the first time all day.

Even before today, he’s usually tense as hell, like he’s always on the lookout for something to catch him off-guard, waiting for something to strike.

Steve understands that feeling, that paranoid impulse, it’s ingrained in his bones at this point.

He wonders what kind of monsters are lurking in Hargrove’s shadows, to cause him to look like that. To give him that haunted look, like they’re just sitting, waiting, in the back of his mind.

Wonders if they’re anything like his. Wonders if they’re the kind that live in his head or if they’re physical, with vicious mouths and hands.

It could be both, it probably is. Steve knows Billy didn’t get in an accident, but he doesn’t want to share what happened. Out of fear or shame, Steve doesn’t know. 

Hargrove eventually catches him staring, raises an expressive eyebrow at him, like,

“What?”

Steve shrugs and picks at the bed linen while he thinks of what to say.

“You just, I dunno, you look good,” his cheeks feel warm and that’s not really what he meant to say, “I mean, uhm, happy?”

It comes out like a question, because, even if Hargrove _looks_ happy, it doesn’t mean he is. Steve learned that lesson that hard way with Nancy.

and he waits.

He waits for the sarcastic barb to come, or, at the very least, to get teased for being so soft. 

Instead, Billy looks at him, huge blue eyes and open expression, a hundred- and eighty-degree difference from a few hours ago. 

He cracks a smile before he curls even closer to Steve, pushing him around so that Billy’s the big spoon.

There’s a pause and Steve thinks that Billy isn’t going to reply, but in the quiet he hears,

“Only when I’m with you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I have risen from the dead. 
> 
> I've had an extremely rough....oh man, half year? But I've noticed that my works still getting read and I had a surprise burst of motivation to write this. 
> 
> For anyone who was waiting for me to update, I'm very sorry! I know how it feels to be waiting for an update and it never seems like it's gonna happen.
> 
> Anyway, as always, thank you for reading and I appreciate any kind of feedback you'd like to leave!


End file.
